AMARANTHE: TERRIBLE MUSIC STUCK IN MICROWAVE, RE-SWEDED

An anonymous reader sent me the below video, and I didn’t look at the title before I clicked the link. So my first thought was that the band in the clip was Sonic Syndicate. (My second thought was, “Edsel Dope is in Sonic Syndicate now?”) This band is not Sonic Syndicate, though — they’re called Amaranthe, because there’s nothing more metal than purple flowers. But can you blame me for my mistake? Like Sonic Syndicate, Amaranthe play terrible re-swede that makes me wish the members of In Flames had never been born; like Sonic Syndicate, Amaranthe clearly have more interest in fashion than originality; and like Sonic Syndicate’s last horrendous video, this was directed with sleek Hasbro movie visuals by Patric Ullaeus.

Anyways, this is something of a super group. Drummer Morten Løwe used to be in The Arcane Order, and plays on the new Mercenary album, which is not as bad as I thought it would it be but isn’t very memorable, either; clean vocalist Jake E. Lundberg (the Dope-y looking one) was in Dream Evil (although after Gus G. left the band — in other words, after I stopped paying attention to Dream Evil); and female vocalist Celine Dion, of course, previously appeared in the movie Titanic, where she starred as the iceberg that sinks the ship. I don’t know why I needed to tell you that these people have done other things during their careers, I just thought I should point it out before some smart-ass in the comments section did.

-AR