THERE’S NO REAL MYSTERY TO IT: NAPALM DEATH ARE RECORDING A NEW SONG

Napalm Death have revealed that they’re about to record a “mystery song” which has “nothing to do with the new album” and is “not a cover song.”

Now, calling it a “mystery song” is clearly meant to get people all hot n’ bothered. And while I’m certainly always excited to hear something new from the Godfathers of Grind, since there are really only two kinds of songs in the world — covers and originals — and we know that this won’t be cover, it has to be an original song. Thus, we can pretty much narrow the possibilities of what the band is going to record to the following:

• A one-off song for a soundtrack, or a comp, or something of that ilk.
• A re-recording of an old Napalm Death song. (Clearly, “You Suffer”* is in dire need of some updating for the 21st century.)

I’ve made my feelings about re-recording old material well known; if it’s a new song, well, great! But then don’t call it a “mystery song.” Just call it a “new song.” Napalm Death oughta know by now that the metal world loves ’em enough that just a plain old new song is enough to entice us.

-AR

*Actually, it just occurred to me that, from a certain perspective, Napalm Death could re-record one of their old songs and it might be a cover tune — ’cause there are no remaining members of the band’s original line-up. But we’ll let that technicality slide, I s’pose.