READERS’ CHOICE: THE DAN WOLFSON TRIES TO REDEEM HIMSELF EDITION

Reader Dan Wolfson maxin’ and relaxin’ at home

Early this week I kinda ripped on reader Dan Wolfson for making me listen to Painted in Exile; I may have been a little rude, but in my defense, Dan called me us “idiots” and “fools,” and I’m pretty grumpy even when someone is nice to me.

But Dan e-mailed me later that very same day to make nice and “redeem” (his word, not mine) himself. So I thought we might all check out these bands together, and see if there’s not anything that washes the taste of Painted in Yucky out of my mouth.

First Fragment, “Ordnance” — This strikes me as being fairly standard tech death, but it’s by no means bad. I actually really, really like the guitar solo that begins around the 2:20 mark.

Archspire, “Ancient of Ancients” — This just bores me. There’s, like, only just barely a song there — for the most part, it’s just mindless showing off. But there is this little section that begins at the 1:13 mark that I kinda enjoyed.

Ascension, “Grey Queen” — Cosmo Lee at Invisible Oranges raved about this band last month. I really like the music, although I wish they’d used less-stereotypical black metal production (e.g., it sounds like it was recorded using a wet cassette tape). Also has a great guitar solo. This is easily my favorite of your recs so far, Dan!

Blood Revolt, “Bite the Hand, Purge the Flesh“ — The vocals are silly even by metal standards, but I like the idea, in theory, of like a black metal equivalent to a Mike Muir talking-not-singing kinda thing. Some of the music is really cool. But the chorus is fucking awful.

Deivos, “Onward to Nothing” — As Dan puts it, “this may be the first time I’ve heard a cowbell blastbeat.” See, kids, now I think THAT’S awesome. That’s what I’m talking about when I talk about a total lack of innovation on the part of some metal bands. It probably took this dude, like, what, ten seconds to say, “Hey, let’s have a cowbell blast beat in here?” And I’ve never heard that before. Very nice. Rest of the song is pretty cool, too. There’s some good riffs in here. But the guitar solo is a just a Slayer-style wankfest, unfortunately.

The Last of Lucy — This experimental grind band ain’t bad, but they ain’t no Meek is Murder, neither.

Hunab Ku, “The Other I” — Dan, I refer you to the “You cannot do this if you’re not Mike Patton rule.” Sorry, dude.

Non Opus Dei, “Przystrojona Słońcem” — At first I wasn’t that into this song, but as it went along and got progressively more Behemoth-y, I started to dig it. I’d be curious to hear s’more.

Abigor, “Time is the Sulfur in the Vein of the Saints” — Oh, I hate this. Like, I don’t mean to sound like my mom or anything, but this is just noise. Pass.

So, there ya have it, Dan! You’re redeemed, at least for the most part. Let’s be friends again, okay?

-AR