THE LAST QUESTION OF THE WEEK FOR 2010: WHAT IS THE SINGLE WORST ALBUM YOU HEARD IN 2010?
Banner Designed by Cysquatch
Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.
For the last “Question of the Week” we decided to counterbalance all these year-end “best of” lists with some good old fashioned negativity:
WHAT IS THE SINGLE WORST ALBUM YOU HEARD IN 2010?
The MS staff’s answers after the jump.
I heard a lot of real garbage this year, but I don’t think it’s fair to answer this question with any album you didn’t hear from start to finish — and, without a doubt, the single most putrid pile of shit I heard this year all the way through was Korn’s Korn III: Back 2 Tha Hood. I reviewed this album (sort of), so I’ve already spoken at great length about how fucking boring it is — but it’s also hard for me to think of any single release which got SO MUCH attention while simultaneously being the very definition of “culturally irrelevant.” I don’t care how the band’s album sales are, or how their ticket sales are — out of all of the LITERALLY HUNDREDS of musicians, producers, critics, publicists, and label reps I’ve debated metal with this year, I have not heard a single person say “Oh, but I really like that Korn album.” It is the very definition of “artistic empty calories,” and its sole purpose is to make Kamp Korn some money — it has no other reason to exist. I know that taste is subjective and no one person’s opinion is more valid than another’s, but I would have to seriously question the emotional and intellectual maturity of anyone who claims to like this insipid piece of drek.
-Axl Rosenberg
The cool thing about the sad decline of deathcore and metalcore is that I know exactly what it’s gonna sound like before I even get to it. And I know that sounds like a snobbish statement, but deep in your black little hearts, you know it’s true. So even after years of “NAH BRO I KNOW DEATHCORE’S LAME NOW BUT THIS BAND DOES IT TOTALLY DIFFERENT” then being subjected to 42 minutes of triggered breakdowns and neutered brees, I have a pretty good idea of what I’m getting into (obviously the same goes for breakdowns, watered down melodeath, and floppy-haired good cop/bad cop vocals in metalcore, but trashing that is so 2006). So, I don’t bother after a song or two unless it’s an album that’s been assigned to me by the MetalSucks higher-ups (Vince, Axl, and the Monkey Panel), which by and large it hasn’t been — thank you, gentlemen — in the past year. Which really means… I didn’t hear anything awful in its entirety in the last twelve months. Even the albums I gave lousy reviews to — Ufomammut and Return to Earth, to name but two — weren’t crimes against music, just ones that rubbed me the wrong way. I wouldn’t describe them as “good,” but “awful?” Like Chris Cornell’s dance album (I still feel like that concept is part of a fever dream)? Nah. I can’t even think of a “this is so bad you have to hear it!” record. So good on you, 2010. That is, until someone holds me down, makes me listen to Parkway Drive, and forces me not to nap. That’s some Clockwork Orange-grade shit right there.
-Sammy O’Hagar
I was at first going to select Ozzy Osbourne’s Scream, which somehow sounded bloated, even though wet farts are supposed to make you feel less bloated. But then I recalled the soul-deadening impact of Serenata by Iranian-American guitarist Armik, and I knew that had to be the one. Armik has the virtuosity and melodic instincts to pull off something grand. And he makes such a killing in the new age market that he has the platform to do something interesting. But instead, he wastes all of his talents on faux-flamenco (flaux-menco?) drivel with programmed bass, drum and horn tracks and a bunch of yawn-inducing non-melodies. Baby’s first flamenco record. Armik must know that anything less vanilla won’t appeal to his core fanbase of post-hippie moms with no taste in music that can say phrases like “hot Spanish windz” and “the romance of the guitar” and “unleash your purest impulses” without a hint of irony. So either he’s a shrewd but manipulative marketeer, or he’s just irredeemably oblivious. Either way, Serenata was the worst album I heard all year, and I suggest you listen to it in small doses to innoculate yourself against the next one.
-Satan Rosenbloom
Pshhh, I don’t waste my time with bad music.
Though, the worst thing I heard all year probably has to be Brokencyde. I really should’ve left well enough alone rather than indulging my morbid curiosity in that case. Now that’s the stuff that’ll get you ripping out your eyeballs just to have something to stuff in your ears. I don’t care if something is supposed to be “ironically bad.” Bad is bad and ironic tastes need to die.
-Leyla Ford
Okay, kiddies, now it’s your turn! Weigh in with your answer to the question of the week below.
