CINEMETAL ROUND-UP: NEW VIDS FROM MOTÖRHEAD, BRING ME THE HORIZON, CILICE, CREMATORY, AND COREY TAYLOR

Alright, let’s get our Headbanger’s Ball on.

First up today we have “Get Back in Line,” Motörhead’s first video in support of their new album, The Wörld is Yours. That album title, in case you don’t know, is a Scarface reference, and the title of this year’s offering from Upon a Burning Body — although my gut tells me Motörhead’s album will probably make a much stronger impression on the world at large. I dunno, call it a hunch.

But I digress.

The video is pretty cheap and definitely trite, but it’s Motörhead, so I don’t think anyone will care. I don’t know why this band even feels the need to make videos anymore — I would imagine that, at this point, Motörhead’s following will buy their new album pretty much no matter what, and that new generations of Motörhead fans will be created the same way they have been for years: via cool older brothers, cousins, uncles, and other terrible role models who pass the music down to the next generation. But even if I’m wrong and this band still needs new videos to sell their wares, well, I don’t really care so much that the video is a little lame, ’cause the song made me grab a MetalSucks Mansion Monkey by the tail and swing him around over my head for three-and-a-half straight minutes.

Next up we have “Left & Right Hemisphere,” from CiLiCe. This is the band’s first video with new vocalist Bryan Ramage, and, to be honest, it’s a pretty boring video — but the song is great and the band is great so, as was the case with Motörhead, I’m inclined to give it some goodwill. If you’ve already listened to this track on the band’s MySpace page, then you probably don’t even need to watch this. But if you’re currently unfamiliar with CiLiCe, well, now’s a good time to introduce yourself (right on):

Next up is “Anthem,” from Bring Me the Horizon. This band has been unimaginative and sucky, this band is currently unimaginative and sucky, this band will continue to be unimaginative and sucky. So it’s fitting that their latest clip looks like every heavy metal Calvin Klein video ever made.

Next up is “Infinity” from Crematory. This video gets +10 for the Hellraiser II homage, and -100 for everything else. Example: the editing is so thoughtless that at one point, it cuts from a close-up of the (male) guitar player’s face to a close-up of the (female) synth player’s stiletto platform boots, suggesting that the guitar player is adorned in said footwear. This probably would have taken about ten seconds to fix, but, hey, who has ten seconds to spare these days, right?

Not helping matters is that the song is so generic. Next.

Finally, I feel obligated to post the video for Corey Taylor’s new Christmas single. I’m surprised that this actually came out, as Joey Jordison assured me that it would not. In all seriousness, though, last week Anso called this song “this year’s dumbest holiday single,” and now it has this year’s dumbest holiday video, which was apparently made by the same auteurs behind Slayer’s clip for “World Painted Blood.” For fuck’s sake, people, you’re professionals. GET IT TOGETHER.

-AR