THE SLAYER BEARD: ONE MONTH LATER (PLUS A GRIPE ABOUT RATKING)

Remember MS reader “Whiskey,” he who shaved his epic beard to win that Slayer Vinyl Conflict box set? If you somehow missed that story, well, now’s your chance to check it out. It involves Slayer, beards, and shaving beards in the name of Slayer; what else do you need to know?

One month later, here’s an update from the man himself:

Well, I just now realized that it’s already been a month since the shave… I’ve been reveling in my Slayer boxset, which I was surprised to receive less than a week after the shave and while my face was still on fire…What can I say? That box set sure does make me more productive around the house. I mean, you do dishes during “God Hates Us All” and tell me you didn’t accomplish the task in record time.

Since there was no necessity to shave anymore, I really just didn’t feel like it, and am starting on EPIC BEARD #2, THE BEARD THAT DESTROYS BEARD #1… sorry. I feel I have more dignity this way.

In the meantime, I’ve been enjoying other new additions, such as an original ’65 pressing of the Beatles Rubber Soul and the always awesome 3 LP set of Metallica’s Garage Inc., also just scooped up one of Billy Corgan’s finest offerings Siamese Dream. But it’s a new LP by Ratking that is really pissing this guy (me) off. What a buncha a’holes… I mean, I don’t know personally if they are, but I don’t like folks that don’t care about rippin’ other folks off for the fuck of it. It may just be me, I dunno, but their new album cover looks an awful lot like Dethklok’s Dethalbum II picture disc, specifically side B.

I’m boycotting the shit outta this new album. Not boycotting based on the tunes, I haven’t really heard much of them and from what I’ve found, I don’t think I’m missing out, but boycotting for the greater good, Goddamnit.  You can’t just use somebody else’s artwork and change it from blue to red and call it “yours”….that’s not even clever.

About right now, I know some people would be thinking, “This guy is a hypocrite! He just said he hates people ripping other people off but he loves Garage Inc., an entire cover (ripoff) album!”. To this I say, you folks have me all wrong and are taking it out of context.  Maybe if it were in some way paying homage, such as the Eagles of Death Metal’s “Death by Sexy” was to The Rolling Stones “Sticky Fingers.” No. This isn’t the case. The way I see it, they are just playing on the ignorance of the masses, saying to themselves, “How many people even have that picture disc anyhow?” I have nothing else to say other than to call the group a buncha Ratbastards! Have a look-see, join the boycott if you will.

THANKS AGAIN FOR THE BADASS SLAYER SHIT..YOU GUYS FUCKING RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you think, did Ratking rip off Dethklok? Is Whiskey a poser for liking Garage Inc.?? Will his new beard be as sexy as his old beard???

-VN