PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN RAMMSTEIN’S ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY!

I used to have a fresh-off-the-boat Indian friend who had a somewhat tenuous grasp on English expletives and he’d always crack us up with his misuse of dirty words, kind of like a real-life version of Fes from That ’70s Show. He’d use the word “balls” as a derogatory expletive; “Balls to that!” or “That’s Balls!” if he didn’t like something. Sometimes he’d get his syntax confused and end up uttering gems like the following, intended as an insult: “I will fuck you in the ass!” We erupted in laughter before explaining the implications of what he’d actually just said. Of course this has nothing to do with last week’s Photo Caption Contest, but I thought of it because the winner calls himself “balls”:

• “After trying to remove his boots for over 3 hours, a young Devin Townsend gave up on black metal and decided to take a different musical direction.”

So, Sir Balls, congrats; you win a trio of Sepulchral Production black metal albums. This week, in celebration of Rammstein’s upcoming December 11th gig at Madison Square Garden in NYC — their only U.S. date, which sold out in like 30 seconds — we’re giving away Rammstein’s entire discography to one lucky winner! That includes the following studio albums: Herzeleid, Sehnsucht, Mutter, Reise Reise, Rosenrot, and their latest, Liebe ist für alle da (Deluxe); and the live albums Live Aus Berlin and Volkerball.

This week’s photo comes from reader Sean Page; the fine specimen pictured is his friend Ryan of Long Island band Elysian Fields who I just so happened to have shrugged off just last week [apparently it’s a different band of the same name. -Ed.] . The rules as per usual: just come up with the funniest caption to the below photo, and remember to use a real email address (or post it with your comment if you’re using FB Connect)!