UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS WITH THE RED CHORD’S GREG WEEKS: “BYE WEEKS!”
“Bye Weeks”
Here we go! Thanks for all the entries and thanks for those who’ve stopped by the merch table and talked football.
-GW
#1:
Hey guys, Double D here to round up the football action from yesterday. We don’t have a lot of time so let’s get to it. The Raiders moved a half game back of the AFC West lead by giving it to the Chiefs in the Black Hole (heh). With that, the Raiders are 5-4 and are 3-0 in the aforementioned (awful) division. Philly pulled one out against Indy 26-24 in a great afternoon game and Cleveland whupped up on the Pats in a game in which nothing went the Pats’ way.
Oh, Buffalo and Detroit, they are trying to play football, aren’t they? Be that as it may, neither could hold on for a victory after getting ahead against the Bears and Jets, respectively. Atlanta flexed their muscles in the NFC South by beating a Tampa Bay team that had quite a few come-from-behind victories but couldn’t manage one on Sunday.
Brett Favre proved he still has some mojo left (despite having a skinny weiner) by helping the Vikes beat the Cardinals in OT.
Thanks for the opportunity guys and I look forward to writing for you in the future!
-Todd Rivas (Double D)
#2:
Hey all. So, yeah, I’m the die hard Buffalo Bills fan. Before I get ridiculed mercilessly, let me add the fact that I’ve lived in central NY for my entire 27 year existence. Greg hooked me up with this guest spot so I could speak for all the suffering Bills fans out there. Either that or he thought the comments section would be entertaining to read here on Metalsucks afterwards. Regardless: I’ve only got a paragraph or two to gripe so here we go…
“Big news” for Buffalo fans this week; The Bills picked former bruiser Shawne Merriman off of waivers. Normally I’d be excited to see not only a fresh face to the Bills family but also a known playmaker added to the fold of a banged up defense. While I do have faith that Merriman can POSSIBLY add a spark to a hum-drum D and also has a chance to reinvent his career, I am also a realist. While Merriman may be able to gear himself back up to his former pro-bowl ways, I would doubt that he’d try to stay in upstate NY after the season. Despite the fact Bills GM Buddy Nix was with San Diego when they drafted Merriman, I don’t believe that’ll be enough to keep the man there. He wanted to go to Miami or Baltimore so don’t be surprised to see him try to go there after the end of this season.
Obviously Ryan Fitzpatrick is not the long-term answer at Quarterback. I’ve heard everyone and their mama’s mama say this since we dumped “Captain Check Down” Trent Edwards. While I think we need to draft a QB (not a high pick, but SOMEONE) to groom for the future, who’s to say that Fitz can’t get it done for the rest of this season and maybe one or two more? Maybe it’s because there hasn’t been a great Bills QB since Jim Kelly and the last GOOD one we had was constantly benched in place of Rob Johnson (ugh…) and Drew Bledsoe (fuckin’ Patriot…), but I firmly believe that Fitzpatrick can do good things while the Bills find a permanent fixture at helming the offense. Compare Fitzpatrick’s stats in that overtime loss to Baltimore a few weeks back to other quarterbacks in the league. He definitely looked better then some of your other “elite” QBs like Drew Brees, Brett Favre, and Aaron Rodgers with over 370+ yards and 4 TDs.
We’re 0-7 [now 0-8. -Ed.], but apparently there will still be a “will to win” for the rest of the season. Whether The Bills can pull off a few W’s is still in question. Hey, if we lose out not only can we get a #1 pick but we can change from “Boy I Love Losing Superbowls” to “Boy I Love Losing Seasons.”
I can’t wait,
Zack
#3:
Hello there, Metalsuckers. I’d like to start the column Greg has kindly provided by saying the following: American Football (henceforth known as AF) is the worst sport on the planet. When the United States is judged by foreigners, some people cite rampant obesity and some mention the disastrous state of government while others choose to bring up Cher. However, in my esteemed opinion, AF is truly a blight on the glory [<sarcasm>] otherwise associated with the Red, White and Blue. It’d be easy for me to describe the stupidity of the actual sporting process, getting 200 kilo mongoloids to kill each other in between a myriad of time-outs, however, the main issue here is the NAME. Everyone outside of the compounded ignorance that makes up the US knows that the term ‘football’ applies only to what you would most likely call ‘soccer’, a sport superior to virtually, no, truly any and every other. There is absolutely NO viable explanation for why AF is named as such, there’s like one guy that actually uses his feet to touch the ball, right? From what I know, the process of naming the ‘sport’ involved taking the name of the most popular sport in the world (‘real’ football) and placing the word ‘American’ in front of it. This is why they hate you.
I won’t state my specific nationality, but I will say that I originate from somewhere in Europe (again, nothing annoys me more than an American saying he “went to Europe” for the summer, or something. It’s a continent, not a water park. Be specific). As you (assuming the majority of the MS readership is from the US) most likely know, ‘real’ football is the most popular sport there by a kilometer. To give you some basic background, some of the greatest clubs in its history include FC Barcelona, Ajax, Manchester United, AC Milan, and Real Madrid; some of its greatest players being Diego Maradona, Pele, Johan Cruijff, Zinedine Zidane, Gerd Muller, and George Best. NOT David Beckham. Try to remember those names, kids, you might actually learn something during your daily perusal of this already intellectually stimulating blog. You may already be familiar with some of those, but regardless, I’d encourage you to learn more about and maybe even PLAY real football. Who knows, you may find you enjoy the most wonderful sport in existence.
In closing, I suggest you come up with some alternative, less insulting names for ‘American Football’ (Armoured rugby? Or you could rip off another sport… American Handball? Maybe we could return the favour and play ‘European Baseball’!). I’d apologise for my condescending, ‘cold European’ attitude, but I couldn’t care less!
-Deva Rao
