SOMEONE TELL KATATONIA, MACHINE HEAD AND PERIPHERY ABOUT THIS

Katatonia, Machine Head, and Periphery all get their pricey gear stolen within a month or so of each other and hey, wouldn’t you know it, some guy named Chris Goulet releases a product called The Rock Lock that’s supposed to protect your gear from being stolen. Coincidence??? Conspiracy!

Of course I’m kidding, but I’d be much more likely to accuse Goulet and MS tipster Rory Fuhrer of conspiring to make a buck if I thought The Rock Lock actually would’ve helped any of the above bands. The Rock Lock works kind of like a bike lock, or those locks they bolt to computers in libraries and schools to prevent them from being stolen; it chains your guitar down to a fixed object. Which will do absolutely no good when some thief decides to jack your band’s entire trailer, or lift a guitar that’s inside a case from backstage.

What someone really needs to invent is a trackable GPS microchip that goes inside the back plate or under the strap button or something, like those ones they put into your pet’s neck to track if Fido ever runs away. Of course the likelihood of grungy metal musicians being able to afford something like that is pretty low, but think of it as an insurance policy… come to think of it, you’d probably be better off with an actual insurance policy.

-VN