SLASH’S VIDEO FOR “BEAUTIFUL DANGEROUS” IS UGLY, PERFECTLY SAFE

I guess it was inevitable that “Beautiful Dangerous,” Slash’s collaboration with Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas, would be released as a single and get a video; Fergie appeals to a large audience that isn’t necessarily Slash’s core fan base, so theoretically it could be a chance to earn some new fans, like when Santana released that song with the guy from Matchbox 20.

The video is actually pretty funny. In it, Fergie plays a woman so obsessed with Slash that she masturbates while thinking about him, then seeks him out at a strip club where he mysteriously is hanging out with no entourage or security of any kind, then drugs and kidnaps him (and no one seems to notice her dragging out one of the world’s most recognizable rock stars I guess), then takes him back to her motel, grinds up against him, and kills him.

Oh, yeah. Spoiler alert.

ANYWAY, there’s nudity and Fergie doing all kinds of suggestive things in this video, so I guess it’s “dangerous” to watch at work. On the other hand, there’s also a shot of Slash enjoying some Monster energy drink, with the carefully label turned towards the camera, so it’s not really that dangerous at all. ‘Cause remember kids: product placement ain’t rock. Sorry.

Also, Fergie’s in the video, so it’s not “beautiful,” either. Just sayin’.

-AR