CINEMETAL ROUND-UP: NEW CLIPS FROM TORCHE, HELLOWEEN, LINKIN PARK, AND YOUR DEMISE

I haven’t needlessly lumped self newly-released videos together in awhile, and these three clips were all released pretty much at once, so I figured, “Hey, why not?” After the jump, check out the latest audio-visual offerings from Torche, Helloween, Linkin Park, and Your Demise… plus my usual bullshit commentary, of course.

First up we have “Are You Metal?” from Helloween. I kinda thought that Brian Posehn had killed the whole “Are you metal or not?” discussion dead with his song “More Metal Than You,” but I guess I was wrong.

ANYWAY, I’ve always been pretty indifferent towards Helloween, but this song isn’t bad. Unfortunately, whomever made the video decided to rip-off the Saw movies, which is like stealing a riff from Wes Borland or copying a retard’s math homework.

But I do like the part at 3:11, where Doc Brown is jumping up and down in the front.

Next up is “U.F.O.” by Torche. I don’t even know what to say about this one. Clearly, they made the lack of a budget work to their advantage. If Roland and Emmerich’s Godzilla film had been this entertaining, than people under the age of twenty would know what the fuck I’m talking about when I say “Roland and Emmerich’s Godzilla film.”

Next is “Waiting for the End,” a song which Linkin Park apparently either wrote about my feelings regarding their career, or, perhaps, for a Sprite commercial. In any case, in this video the members of the band are, like, turning into constellations and stuff. I don’t really know why. But if you turn the sound off, pretend it’s just some random dudes and not the members of Linkin Park in the video, and crank Kvelertak’s “Mjød,” it’s actually pretty cool looking.

Finally, we have “Miles Away” by Your Demise. As you may know, I’m a huge fan of Your Demise. Oh, look, they’re on Rise Records. Weird. I totally would’ve thought that they’d be on Profound Lore or Crucial Blast or maybe even Southern Lord. Huh. Well, anyway, I liked this footage better when it was part of a Cro-Mags video. The crowd in that one just looked way scarier and more realer, y’know?

-AR