JUMPING DARKNESS PARADE: EYAL WONDERS, “IS THIS IT?”

I know that suicide happens in all walks of life. I realize that when celebrities do themselves in, it’s enlarged to disrespectful proportions compared to when non-celebrities choose death. That said… Have you ever wondered why some rockstars kill themselves? Why do we hear about that CEO that threw himself off a seven-story building? Why do people who survive plane crashes kill themselves a year later with drugs? Why is it almost cliché for someone to die by their own doing after achieving their dreams in life? How is it that people who have won at life so hard can feel so miserable that living is no longer an option?

I’m positive that someone trained in the art of mental health would tell me that each case is unique. I realize that I’m not an expert on mental health, but I think there’s got to be some common denominator there. One thing I’ve noticed around a lot of people who have in fact achieved what would be most people’s dreams is that a lot of them will never be satisfied with that alone. That’s because a dream can only feel like a dream when it’s in your mind. It’s easy to be in love with a simple idea, or goal. In reality we have many more complex needs and pressures affecting us than those we create in idealized lottery winner-like scenarios.

That brings up the “it” I think about a lot. The “it” I was referring to in my “greatest guitarist” blog is what I’m using as a substitute for that really strange and hard to define word, “success.” “Success” is another word that means a million different things to a million different people. If I were to ask you, how would you know if you were successful, what would your answer be? Actually think about it. If you were a musician, would it be to be at the bus level? Would it be to always have fun at it? Would it be to become a legend? Would it be to stay happy doing what you love? If you’re a doctor, would it be to own a private practice? Or to become a celebrity doctor? I mean seriously, how would you define it?

I’m asking because I think that not knowing what you’re going for is really important. And I don’t mean in goal-setting, self-help sort of way. I mean in a don’t-wake-up-out-of-a-fifteen-year-mental-slumber-and-realize-that-you’ve-wasted-your-life-and-you’re-in-hole-you-can-barely-dig-yourself-out-of sort of way. There’s something romantic and idealistically appealing about lucking out into a great life. I think that letting that idea grow in one’s mind for too long can be about as productive as planning to win the lottery. Pretty stupid.

So anyhow, how many of you have ever accomplished something –could be as simple as an buying an Xbox, could be as high up as becoming a millionaire via your entrepreneurial vision — and thought to yourselves, “Is that it?”

-EL

Daath’s new, self-titled album comes out October 25 on Century Media. Pre-order it here, and then go visit Daath on MySpace.