THE BLOGRONAUT ISN’T SO SURE AMERICA’S GOT TALENT

Being someone who is kind of stuck in their own little bubble most of the time, I tend to forget how ridiculous the outside world can be. Since my teen years, I’ve been disgusted, yet morbidly fascinated with mainstream culture. It’s like a flaming car wreck, for lack of a better analogy. I can’t watch any kind of television without feeling like I can see right through it, and being offended that so many people’s lives in one way or another revolve around corporate-funded programming, whether it’s for entertainment or information. I lost interest in owning a television years ago.

Anyway, the most recent offender is a show called “America’s Got Talent.” Have you SEEN this shit? It should be called “America Gets Told What To Think.” Never before have I been so compelled to stick needles into my eyeballs, take a shit on a studio audience’s collective head, and leap face first off a bridge all at once. This is the very epitome of mainstream media programming minds to reject anything outside their comfort zone. Here I am trying to get a little innocent bro time with my stepdad over the weekend (this actually happened a couple months ago), getting riled up enough to, uh, write a blog entry on Metalsucks.net.

First up is this guy doing Tuvan throat singing. I’m not sure what that is, but he obviously spent a lot of time learning to do it. Also, he should be applauded for taking the time to put together that John-Wayne-Gacy-meets-the-wicked-witch-of-the-north outfit. Of course, only the most burnt-out ex-hippies and/or fixed-gear retirees in Portland, OR have any idea what Tuvan throat singing is (aside from the Tuva people of southern Siberia of course), so naturally the studio audience at America’s Got Talent boo him off five seconds in. Never mind that it is in fact “talent” that he’s showing off here – it’s “weird”, so “boo.”

Now, America, who’s gonna come up here and show us some real-ass shit? How about this epileptic kid flying a kite? I know what you’re thinking. “Bro, no effin’ WAY is that even possible!” Don’t get me wrong, I’m sincerely happy that this kid has an outlet to express himself, and I’m not saying he isn’t talented. But listen to the song that’s playing here! Are you kidding me? I almost cry every time I reload the video while writing this. Not because I give half a shit, but because of some deep-rooted societal programming that tells me to be thankful that I am not epileptic myself.

This has very little to do with talent, and everything to do with people rejecting anything that they might get teased for liking. The epileptic kid flying a kite? Almost anyone can relate to that. Him getting the thumbs up from the judges is the ending to every cheesy movie this country loves. The throat singing? Sounds weird and primitive, and probably has some sort of muslim origins. Think too about how this applies to the music you listen to. Even on the more “underground” side of things.

I don’t remember exactly where I was going with this. Stop watching the news. Throw away your TV. Think about how afraid you are of being criticized for actually being yourself.

-SD

Intronaut’s new album Valley of Smoke comes out October 12th on Century Media. Smoke your own valley by visiting Intronaut on MySpace.