SOME RANDOM METALSUCKS READER’S SH*TTY BAND (SHAMELESS PROMOTION)
Have you ever wondered what MetalSucks readers are like?? Are they really the socially awkward shut-ins and losers that I (jokingly) make them out to be, or do I have it all wrong? Could it be that the joke is on me, and in reality you’re a unique cohort of fabulously wealthy, ridiculously good looking geniuses who barely manage to find time to read MS between banging your supermodel girlfriends and playing in your incredibly successful, groundbreaking metal bands?? That could be the case, but based on what I know about one butthurt commenter on my recent post on A Day To Remember (the darlings of leading independent label VICTORY RECORDS), I’m pretty sure it’s not. Ladies and gentlemen (who am I kidding, there are no ladies on MetalSucks), I give you VALEDICTION!
He asked me to shamelessly promote his band– here you go, broski!
This video has a whopping 20 views after being up for two months — ouch :( Also, the child-like drawing kind of reminds me of the cover of The Vandals “Live fast Diarrhea,” only this one is funny by accident (not on purpose). Love that this song is “dedicated to our armed forces” lolololol
“Valediction is a five piece band hailing from Grove City College. Despite only being together for six months, this high energy band has created a diverse yet cohesive set list and is preparing to spread its sound via searing riffs, soaring vocals, immense choruses, high octane drumming and overwhelming intensity.”
The above video reminds me of this incredibly brutal Jamie Foxx bit from a couple years back (file under “awkward self-clownings”)
As you can see/hear, his band is surprisingly awful, even by the standards of random MySpace bands. In addition to being crappy, they’re also not very metal — I figured that everybody on this site who hates my posts was in some uber-kvlt band that, while perhaps not up my alley, at least played a genre with some underground currency: nu-thrash/bedroom goregrind/black metal/power electronics, or whatever you beardos are into these days. I mean, if you’re going to get up on your high horse when I post about deathcore or slam, you better not play in some band who is just one small step beyond playing Pearl Jam covers in a high school talent show, right? Turns out I was wrong — at least in the case of this guy, they’re just dorky college kids in entry-level alternative rock bands.
If you would like me to shamelessly promote your band next, hit me up on Twitter or email!
What is your favorite part, the searing riffs, high octane vocals, or the immense choruses????? Will these guys be the next Relient K? Will you post supportive comments about this hilariously shitty band (because you hate me), or join in mocking them (because you want to sound witty)?? What is the name of YOUR shitty band?!
-Sergeant D.
