HOLD THE PHONE: RUMPELSTILTSKIN GRINDER ARE NOT CHANGING THEIR NAME

So earlier this week, there was a posting on Rumpelstiltskin Grinder’s MySpace page in which they seemed to announce that they were changing their name to “The Devil.” They even debuted some new music and set up a new MySpace page under that moniker. And at the time, I said, “I’m honestly hoping that this is just a joke I don’t get,” ’cause I think that Rumpelstiltskin Grinder is an awesome name, and The Devil is pretty meh.

Well, hey, guess what? I guess it was a joke I don’t get! Or the band’s MySpace page was hacked — but that seems less likely, given the other, new MySpace page and whatnot. (Although that MySpace page is now gone.) In any case, here’s an official statement from the band:

Rumpelstiltskin Grinder is not changing it’s name even though ‘the internet’ said we were. We will have a new album in 2011.
Rumpelstiltskin Grinder is elusive and it’s true motives are unknown. Rumpelstiltskin Grinder is bigger than ‘The Devil’

So this confuses me on a couple of levels. For one thing, I would love to know definitively if I’m just a dumb ass that didn’t get the gag, or what the what happened.

Also, ’cause the band allegedly changed their name like four days ago, and this is a three sentence statement, so unless they only wrote one sentence per day, I seriously do not get why it took so long to clear up the rumor.

Also, I don’t know why the phrase “the internet” is in quotation marks. Was it not really the internet that said the name was being changed? I mean, I guess it was “the MySpace page,” or, more specifically, “our MySpace page.” But even then, I’d probably leave out the quotes off, ’cause, y’know. It wasn’t their “supposed” MySpace page. In fact, if anything, I’d put quotes around the word “said,” ’cause the internet can’t really “say” anything, y’know?

But I digress.

Look, bottom line: I’m glad they’re keeping their name, and I look forward to that new album in 2011. Now, let us never speak of this again.

-AR