WHAT DO NEW ALBUM ANNOUNCEMENTS FROM GWAR AND MELECHESH HAVE TO DO WITH ONE ANOTHER?

Nothing! But I like both bands, and both bands have announced new albums, and neither band was nice enough to release a single or cover art or something that I can actually discuss in detail, so I’m making them share a post. My apologies to all who may be offended.

Here’s what we know about each new release:

• Melechesh’s will be called The Epigenesis, and will be released in North America on October 26. (The press release I received didn’t mention international release dates, so you can go hell, rest of the world! <singing>AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!</singing> In any case, Melechesh’s last album, Emissaries, totally rocked but also came out like a bajillion years ago (actually just four, but lots of bands have put out two records since then so it feels even longer somewhow), and we’ve been hearing about this one for-ever, so I’m really, really stoked that it’s finally coming out. You can hear a shitty live recording of an instrumental version of a new song that may or may not have made it onto the final album here.
• Gwar’s new album will be called Gwar’s Bloody Pit of Horror, which is ridiculous is the absolute best, Gwarian sense of the word. (And I think that, at his point, Gwar should put the possessive before all of their titles, like John Carpenter does.) If the cover art doesn’t feature some thinly veiled reference to a menstruatic (yes I know I just made up a word) vagina, I will be severely disappointed. The album is said to feature songs with titles such as “Tick-Tits,” which Oderus Urungus a song about a chick whose tits are covered in ticks… big fat gray puffy ones.” If that doesn’t make you wanna put on a white t-shirt and go stand near the front at a Gwar show, nothing will. Metal Blade will announce an official release date “soon.”

-AR