LINKIN PARK BOLDLY GOING WHERE OTHERS HAVE GONE BEFORE

I know that making fun of Linkin Park is like making fun of a retarded cripple — it’s just not fair and probably not nice. Except that this particular retarded cripple happens to have more money than some small countries and is worshipped around the world by other retarded cripples.

So. I just saw the cover art for the new Linkin Park album, A Thousand Suns. And as I was looking it at it, I had two thoughts. The first thought was, “What the fuck am I looking at?” But the second, more pressing thought was, “Why does this look so familiar?”

And then it hit me:

Now, the similarities could just be a coincidence, but they’re not. And you know that they’re not because past behavior is always the best indicator of future behavior, and this is the second Linkin Park album in a row with a title that owes a debt to an Iron Maiden song, and the umpteenth album in a row where Linkin Park are going to release “One Step Closer” again, only they’ll call it “Somewhere I Belong” or “What I’ve Done” or “Have You Seen My Mommy?” or whatever so all their fans can fool themselves into thinking that this band has a shred of originality.

So, there you have it. Linkin Park: still less talented than your favorite band, and still selling more records, too.

-AR