THE “Z” IN “ZOROASTER” IZ FOR ZZZZZZZZZZZ……

Whatup with people pronouncing Zoroaster “Zo-Roaster”? It’s pronounced “Zoro-Astor.” He was a prophet, philospher and poet who lived in the 6th Century B.C. Get it right, peoples! This band ain’t got nothin’ to do with coffee.

But despite their heady, historical name and prowess for Mike Tyson’s Punch Out, I feel roughly the same about Zoroaster as I do about Black Tusk, which is to say… they’re a’ight, but why bother? If I’m looking for beardy, doomy, stony metal I’ve got a hundred other choices.

So they’ve got a new video for the song “Odyssey,” premiered by Stereogum. The song does the exact same thing for two-and-a-half minutes (much like another song they recently released), then there’s a really boring middle part with a solo that sounds like it was played by an 8th grader, then it goes back to doing the same thing it did in the first half of the song. Boooo-ring. Finally, with a little over a minute to go we get a pretty decent Taco Riff to finish things up, but it’s obscured by more 8th grade soloing.

So yeah, I don’t know about this band. They’re using up their chances to impress me mighty quick. This is the kind of music that’s fun to jam to when you’re playing it yourself, but not very much fun for anyone else.

-VN