WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS (BIG FOUR) PICTURE?

So we had a lot of fun laughing about that Big Four photo yesterday, and then last night on the Metal Injection Livecast (download it here), we had a good chuckle over this second picture, in which Dave Mustaine makes his feelings about James Hetfield perfectly clear:

But I guess some clever publicist or manager was on-hand for this shoot, and saw this picture being taken and was all, “Fuck, this could be a real problem, we better make sure that we get another one where it doesn’t look like these two hate each other.” And that publicist or manager was correct. If Mustaine can play nice with Kerry King, he should be able to suck it up and play nice with Hetfield, too. (And let’s not forget that Scott Ian is no Mustaine fan, either.)

Thus, we also get this picture, which is better insofar as Hetfield is not standing so far away from the rest of the group, but is not better insofar as it is still hilariously awkward:

This is like one of those family photos you had to take as a kid where your folks made you and your sister pretend to be harmonious on camera even though three seconds before the picture was snapped your were pulling her hair and she was kicking your shin.

Hetfield is reaching around Ian to kinda touch Mustaine, but Mustaine is only touching Hetfield with the side of his hand, and even that appears to be accidental. (And King isn’t even looking at the same camera as everyone else.) Well, I’m sold. No beef here! Let’s just talk about something else. Wasn’t Death Magnetic terrific? “Crush ‘Em” is my favorite song. The new Slayer video rules. Anthrax are a bastion of artistic integrity.

Of course, it’s entirely possible I’m reading way too much into all of this; for all I know, regular ol’ run of the mill insecurity about their sexuality is the reason Hetfield and Mustaine won’t touch. Maybe one night back in Mustaine’s Metallica days, they got really drunk and had a fling, and that’s the real reason Dave got the boot. We may never know.

Meanwhile, every band except Metallica has now publicly expressed interest in taking the Big Four show on the road. And little wonder, when they’re drawing crowds like this in Europe:

For the members of Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax, this must be one of the biggest single pay dates they’ve ever done. Of course, Lars Ulrich blows his nose and a million dollars comes out, so Metallica still haven’t publicly expressed interest in shit. But if this does become a worldwide tour, hopefully we’ll get more hilarious photos for many months to come.

-AR