THIS PROBABLY MADE FRED PHELPS VERY UPSET

June 2nd, 2010 at 10:30am
Axl Rosenberg

700

Remember how the incredibly nice people from the Westboro Asylum for the Criminally Insane Baptist Church were going to picket outside of Ronnie James Dio’s public memorial service this past Sunday? I have no idea how many people actually showed up for that protest (there’s no mention of it on WBC’s oh-so-charming website, and I can’t find the number in any news reports of the event), so in lieu of being responsible and not just publishing some random figure I made up, I’m going to do just that and assert that my original estimate of 75 whack-a-dos was accurate. This number is based on some photos of the protest that have been posted online – it really doesn’t look like that many people showed up. It also doesn’t look like those people were exactly on-point with their message.

(AP Photo/Jason Redmond)

Okay, Dio is going to Hell. I don’t agree with that statement, but I understand your point of view and why you’re here protesting at the man’s memorial service and –

Wait, what?

(Photo by k763 via Flickr)

What the fuck does Dio have to do with the Jews killing Jesus and oil and “Fag Marriage?” I don’t remember him ever taking a public stance on gay marriage. Or oil. Or Jews. So, like, do you just go around to random memorial services shouting about things that make you mad? “DIO IS GONNA BURN! ALSO, POPCORN AT THE MOVIES IS NOT REASONABLY PRICED!!!“I mean, come ON. You’re totally undermining your own message. Now you just look like a bunch of crazy people!

Meanwhile, a few anti-anti-Dios made some signs of their own, which were considerably more amusing:

(AP Photo/Jason Redmond)

(Photo by k763 via Flickr)

And if that wasn’t enough to get Fred Phelps all riled up, Blabbermouth says that more than 1,200 Dio fans showed up to mourn, including these really cute girls, the pleasures of whom the congregants of the Westboro Baptist Church can never know, lest they join Dio in Hell: