THE BEST FACEBOOK PAGE SINCE PICKLEBACK: DEPORT THE JUGGALOS!

The United States is devolving; might as well have some fun at its expense, right?

So. Earlier this year, a dill pickle was able to accrue more fans on Facebook than Nickelback; now, in another move of social networking genius, someone has started a FB page entitled “Illegal immigrants can stay, deport the juggalos.” (“Because at least illegal immigrants aren’t making a mess in Meijer toy aisles at 3 AM.”) As of this writing, the page has more than 64,000 followers, which, the page’s administrator is quick to point out, is larger than “the number juggalos previously thought represented the entire population of the world.” If Wikipedia is to be believed, it’s also more than three times as many people as attended the 2009 Gathering of the Juggalos, which makes me wonder if the next move shouldn’t be to organize some kind of anti-Juggalo rally near the location of the fest’s 2010 edition. I mean, that’s what the Tea Partyers would do, right?

Of course, Vince and I have a good friend who is a Juggalo, and we wouldn’t want him to be deported; but should this campaign prove to be successful, we’d be happy to hide him beneath our floorboards, as many sympathetic Christian Europeans did for our Jewish ancestors during the Holocaust.

Meanwhile, I heard that senior-most Juggalo Crust Stinknutz is trying to put together a counter-Facebook page demanding “Juggalo rites” [sic], but can’t quite figure it out. When reached for a quote, Stinknutz asked me, “Fucking Facebook, how does it work?”

-AR

Thanks to Spencer Ward for this awesome tip!