DEVIN TOWNSEND + LSD = FREAKED-OUT NEWSTED

My first memory of being super-impressed by tales of massive drug abuse was when my uncle explained that Stevie Ray Vaughan’s favorite breakfast once was an eight-ball of coke poured into a liter of Jack Daniel’s. That is quality partying, not that St. Patrick’s Day beer-and-barf beginner stuff. I was floored. Barely big enough to hold a guitar, I then and there resolved to achieve those heights of consumption. I also began to keep a wish list of kick-ass drug gobblers with whom I’d one day party hardy, with Vaughan in the first slot.

By 1996, metal maniac Devin Townsend was added to that list. Even before hearing gossip of his heroic intake, I presumed from hundreds of listens to Heavy As A Really Heavy Thing that Devy might be the type to get screamingly high and, like, take a dump in a busy intersection while doing a headspin. Maybe I was projecting. Actually, in retrospect, a mega-fucked up Townsend might be too much for me. He sure was too much for ex-Metallica bassist Jason Newsted!

Townsend to Jedbangers:

[My] relationship with Jason was nice but ended strangely. I had never done acid before, and we did it at his house and I tripped pretty hard and started acting pretty strange with him. I think he’s a pretty “straightforward” guy, and I think I freaked him out pretty hard. It was really fucking weird. For several years he was in my life, and then overnight, I never heard from him again. I hope he’s well.

Aww what a drag. It sucks to lose a friend like that. Acid really does test relationships. Shit, my friend Miki still hasn’t spoken to me since years ago when I stomped in her windshield cuz it was acting all snooty. Just thought I’d throw that out there while we’re talking acid regrets.

-ADF