BLACK METAL BRUNCH: MOTHER’S DAY EDITION

Lovings your mommies is tr00. Shes the ones whos taughts yous hows tos bes ebil. Maybes yous evens borrowed her makesups thes first time yous puts ons corpse paints. Remembers hows shes mades yous cleans your rooms? Ebil. Ors hows shes tolds yous tos makes thes monsters face sos shes could brush yours teeths? Ebil. Ors hows she groundeds yous whens shes founds outs that yous burneds downs the church? EBIL. Ors hows she stoods ups for yous whens you coulds nots gets the parole fors killings your band mates? EBIL!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yous cans takes one days tos gos tos thes Hallmarks and buys a nice cards. It wills nots kills yous.

Most BM bands is toos muchs ofs pussys tos express their loves fors the mommies. Pussys pussys pussys. Heres the bests Is coulds dos. Nows Is ams goings tos give my mommies the necklace Is boughts ats thes T.J. Maxxs ands takes her tos the buffets ats the Holidays Inns ands to sees the Babies movie. Ebil, ebil, ebil.

-NC