SERIOUSLY, BRET MICHAELS?

When Bret Michaels was rushed to the hospital after suffering “a massive subarachnoid hemorrhage (bleeding at the base of his brain stem)” and was listed as being in critical condition, I wrote that yes, Michaels is a buffoon, but he doesn’t deserve to die and “we sincerely hope he makes it through this okay, and has many more years of buffoonery ahead of him.” And now Michaels is out of the hospital and it looks like he’s gonna make a full recovery and thus will, indeed, have many more years of buffoonery ahead of him. Starting right now, as a matter of fact.

I was surprised to see Michaels on the cover of People  – I didn’t realize that that many people still cared about him. Never underestimate the power of reality television and a potential tragic fatality, I guess. But I was even more surprised to see, on that cover, a picture of Michaels, lying in his hospital bed… with his bandana on.

Are you fucking kidding me? They not only brought a photographer to the hospital, but either Bret or someone on his team was like, “Make sure he has his bandana on?!?!”

And here I was thinking that whatever procedure they needed to do while he was in critical condition would probably be a good excuse for him to finally ditch the ridiculous wig/extensions/whatever. “They had to shave my head for medical purposes,” he could tell people, finally allowing all five of his fans who don’t realize that he’s bald to join the rest of us in Reality.

Oh, Bret. You never fail to amuse. Here’s to you and your buffoonery, dude.

-AR

[via Bring Back Glam]