THE TITLE OF OZZY’S NEW ALBUM WON’T MAKE YOU SCREAM

Because it’s going to be Scream. Which isn’t exactly the best album title I’ve ever heard, but it certainly beats the ever-lovin’ shit outta Soul Sucka.

Ozzy will apparently debut the semi-title track, “Let Me Hear You Scream,” on an upcoming episode of CBS’ CSI:NY, officially making CSI the most metal procedurals on a channel watched only by old people. Still, we’ll all clamor to hear it, because we’re all schmucks who think Gus G. may be able to save Ozzy from continuing to churn out mediocre records in the name of keeping Ozzfest alive.

No word on how pissed the Weinsteins are that Ozzy couldn’t wait a year to release his album so he could do a tie-in with their own attempts to revive a  way-past-its-due-date franchise.

On a final note, I’d just like to say that if they were going to use Ozzy stage banter as the basis for the title of the record/single – which I think is a brilliant idea – I wish they’d used the phrase “Let Me See Your Fucking Cigarette Lighters” instead, and then called the album Fucking Cigarette Lighters. Now THERE’S an Ozzy album title that would get my dick hard. They could even re-record “Zombie Stomp” as “Froggy Stomp!”

-AR