MURDERDOLLS: A REUNION NO ONE BUT ME WILL BE HAPPY ABOUT

I’m exaggerating, of course. Someone besides me will be happy to hear that Murderdolls (not The Murderdolls – get it right, dick!) are getting back together. But he or she probably doesn’t read this website.

In case you don’t remember this band – and it would be hard for me to blame you if you don’t – it was a post-Iowa side project that Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison put together. Only they sounded much more like a Misfits cover band doing Motley Crue songs than Slipknot, and Jordison played guitar, not drums.

The singer was Wednesday 13 (né Joseph Poole), who at the time was a member of a very similar band called Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13 (I think a few of their songs even got cannibalized for Murderdolls). When the band (and I use that term pretty loosely, as Jordison played the majority of the instruments on the record) recorded their first and only album, Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls, former Dope guitarist/then Static-X guitarist/eventual kiddie rapist Tripp Eisen was the second guitar player; when they went on tour and Eisen returned to Static-X (presumably because the more famous your band is, the easier it becomes to pick up barely pubescent girls), another former member of Dope, Acey Slade, took his spot. (Yes, this is a band I actively admit I listened to, that featured multiple former members of Dope. Edsel Dope even talked smack about Murderdolls in the press, accusing them of ripping him off, even though the only thing the two bands really had in common, sonically-speaking, were phlegmy vocals. Life is strange indeed.)

I think the band’s biggest “hit” was a cover of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding,” and you should always be weary of bands whose biggest hit isn’t a song they wrote. But they were basically a super-catchy hair metal band who liked to say “fuck” a lot – in fact, they have a song called “I Love to Say ‘Fuck’,” in addition to songs with titles such as “Let’s Fuck” and “Motherfucker I Don’t Care.”

So Murderdolls obviously were never the greatest band in the world or anything, but I always preferred their catchy horror-glam to Stone Sour’s dreary alt-rawk. Unfortunately, the rest of the world disagreed with me, and that was pretty much that… until now. (Duh-duh-DUH!!!) And here I’d doubted they’d ever return as recently as three weeks ago.

Murderdolls are now recording a new album, Women and Children Last, with Zeuss, of all producers. Jordison told Kerrang that “Wednesday and I are doing the record ourselves with a couple of very special guests,” but eventually they’ll have to put a touring band together. Whether or not any of the old Murderdolls will be in Murderdolls 2010 remains to be seen. Acey Slade e-mailed me once with regards to something I wrote about him on MS, so I just abused the possession of that e-mail address to see if he knew anything. We’ll see if he gets back to me or not.

In conclusion, here’s a Murderdolls song that expresses how people are going feel about me when they find out that I don’t hate this band:

-AR