TEN THINGS I’D BE MORE SURPRISED TO FIND AT A MOTLEY CRUE CONCERT THAN A COUPLE SHTUPPING

So this couple was caught fucking at a Motley Crue concert in Winnipeg last week, and were promptly ejected from the concert. There was video of the incident, which has now been taken off of YouTube, I guess because it’s “obscene” or whatever. But I’m not sure what the big deal is. Motley Crue songs are pretty much all about fucking, even when they’re technically not (“Dr. Feelgood,” etc.), so I’d imagine there’s one drunk couple gettin’ it on at pretty much EVERY Motley Crue concert. In fact, here are ten things I’d find more surprising to see at a Crue show:

1. A crowd without a single mullet.
2. A crowd without a single beer gut.
3. A crowd without a single tit job.
4. Someone reading Schopenhauer while waiting for the band to take the stage.
5. A dude in a Cannibal Corpse shirt who isn’t me.
6. Someone who knows that Chopin isn’t pronounced “choppin’.”
7. A fan who keeps screaming “BRING BACK CORABI!!!”
8. A fan who really, really hopes they play Generation Swine in its entirety.
9. Tommy Lee making coherent stage banter.
10. A couple having sex… with a condom.

This is fun! Feel free to add your own suggestions below.

-AR