VINCE’S WEST COAST ADVENTURE, THE ABRIDGED VERSION

So yeah, I’ve been gone, like, forever. Here’s what I’ve been up to:

• I spent four days in Los Angeles, where the heavens proceeded to dump ridiculous amounts of rain upon this usually-sunny city every single day. And it was cold. What the fuck?
• I begged metal record labels to keep giving us ad money so I can continue to work in my underwear every day.
• I finally met Satan Rosenbloom, Anso DF and Bob Cock. They rulez!
• I went to an L.A. Kings game in which the home team got stomped by their in-state rivals from San Jose. It was a no contest, but the beer was flowin’ and the times were fun. Thanks for the hook-up, you know who you are.
• I went on tour with The Metal As Art Tour featuring Hypno5e, Revocation and The Binary Code. Getting to see all three bands every night was such a treat… goddamn, they are all so fucking tight right now it’s ridiculous. Total road warriors.
• Made lots of poop and fart jokes in the van.
• Partied a lot and enjoyed the unbelievably high quality herbals the west coast has to offer! That medical shit is everywhere.
• Saw some of the most amazing scenery the U.S has to offer including all of California’s Central Valley, the Sierra Mountains, Shasta National Park and the wilds of the Pacific Northwest. Battled through several snowstorms in the process.
• Got stupid in San Diego, stoned in Oakland, freaked out about the rampant and obvious meth use in Reno, NV.
• Hung out in San Francisco and Portland, OR. Got shat on by a bird in the former and enjoyed the delicious food trucks in the latter.
• Drove up to Seattle and flew home on the red eye from there…

And now I’m back at the Mansion. About that no pants thing, I’m actually wearing pants at the moment. Fixing that situation right… now!

-VN