A SH*TSTAIN ON THE ASS OF THE UNIVERSE (PART 12)

Holy crap, have we really not done one of these since September? Daaaaaammmmmnnnn. Time really does fly when you’re having fun at the expense of others.

Anyways, this particular stain made from shit is called Abandon All Ships, which makes even less sense than most band names these days. Abandon all ships? Why? Why the fuck would any navy in the world ever give that order? What kind of mass disaster could cause the abandonment of multiple ships? I’ve heard the expression “abandon all stations,” which makes sense – if they ship were going under, you’d want to tell everyone to abandon their stations and get the fuck out while the gettin’ the fuck out was good. But why the fucking fuck would you abandon all ships?

Anyways, Suckalo Matt Poulter saw these dudes open for Protest the Hero recently, and we sympathize with Matt’s plight. On the other hand, he says that PTH played Fortress in its entirety, so at least he got something out of the deal.

-AR