THE DREADFUL DEMO FILES: THE DECEMBER 2009 EDITION, PART I

[A series of absolutely dreadful demos to grace the doorstep of the MS Mansion of late has inspired me to resurrect The Dreadful Demo Files, in which we take a look at some of the face-palm inducingly bad packages we receive. For the sake of these poor bands’ egos we’ve disguised their identities. I’ll be highlighting 3 bands this week… the last of which is so absolutely righteous I’m not sure it can ever possibly be topped. -.Ed.]

So many things wrong with this! Where to start?

1. This was the entirety of the letter! Just this and a burned CD.
2. Fantastic grasp of the English language, sentence structure, capitalization and punctuation. Yes, this was sent in by an American band. You took the time to assemble a package, burn a CD and print out a letter… but you couldn’t take 30 seconds to make it cohesive? Come on, dude.
3. Why would I care what unknown bands your drummer has played in?
4. I most certainly would LOVE to do an interview with you. Our readers are going to really enjoy reading an interview with a guy they’ve never heard of who’s in a band they’ve never heard of. That’ll bring in tons of traffic to our website and will surely keep everyone entertained.
5. Thanks for including your phone number! I’ll definitely call you, buddy.
6. Nice use of “eatmyfukk” in your email address. Way to appear professional!

That’s it for now. Stay tuned for the next edition of the Dreadful Demo Files, coming at you this Wednesday.

-VN