AN AWESOME TOUR (THAT WE CAN’T GO TO)

Ever heard that Behemoth have breaks built into their set so they can run off stage and do some corpse paint touch-ups? To be fair, I’m not sure if the person who told me that was being honest or just joshin’ me, but it makes sense – the band definitely runs off stage from time to time, leaving the crowd to listen to pre-taped orchestral apocalyptic goodness.

True or not, it doesn’t change the fact that Behemoth absolutely crushed in their too-brief set on this past summer’s Rockstar Mayhem Yadda Yadda tour, or the fact that we were looking forward to seeing them do a proper headlining set. So now they’ve finally announced a tour – with Septic fucking Flesh, no less – and it’s hitting NYC the same night as the BTBAM/Cynic/Devin Townsend/Scale the Summit Orgasm Tour. I don’t know what rocket scientists set that up, but now metal fans in our area will have a tough decision to make. We are going to the Orgasm Tour, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish there were multiple mes, like in that awful Michael Keaton movie.

ANYWAY, here are dates for the Behemoth tour. We envy those of you who can make it.

01/07 Philadelphia, PA Theatre of the Living Arts
01/08 W. Springfield, VA Jaxx
01/09 Raleigh, NC Volume 11
01/10 Atlanta, GA Masquerade
01/11 Tampa, FL State Theatre
01/13 Austin, TX Emo’s
01/15 Tucson, AZ The Rock
01/16 Los Angeles, CA House of Blues
01/17 San Francisco, CA Slims
01/18 Portland, OR Hawthorne Theater
01/19 Seattle, WA El Corazon
01/21 Calgary, AB Republik
01/22 Edmonton, AB The Starlite Room
01/23 Regina, SK The District
01/24 Winnipeg, MB WECC
01/25 St. Paul, MN Station 4
01/26 Chicago, IL House of Blues
01/27 Cleveland, OH Peabody’s
01/28 Pittsburgh, PA Mr. Smalls
01/30 New York, NY Gramercy Theatre

-AR