NEVERMIND. CHUCK BISCUITS IS ALIVE.

Yesterday we mourned the loss of former Danzig drummer Chuck Biscuits, who died at age 44 of throat cancer. It was indeed a sad, sad day here at the MetalSucks Mansion, and we all wore white in tribute to the fallen skinsman (We usually wear black anyway, so that wouldn’t do.).

Only problem is, Brooklyn Vegan is now reporting that Mr. Biscuits is very much alive and well.

Apparently the whole thing started with the blog of a Brooklyn-based freelance writer, James Greene, Jr. Greene now claims he was the victim of  a cruel prank:

In May of 2009, JG2Land received an e-mail that ostensibly came from Chuck Biscuits, who appeared to be using an e-mail address that bore his wife’s real name. The message, which was a response to an article JG2 had authored for Crawdaddy.com entitled “An Open Letter To Chuck Biscuits,” found “Chuck” announcing that he was “awake and rotting twice to the gut in the land of flanneled, tree-huggin’ bunny-fuckers.” The drummer also offered himself up for an interview.

Subsequent communication with this apparently false Chuck Biscuits revealed that he was afflicted with throat cancer and could no longer speak. In July, a message signed with the initials of Chuck’s wife was sent that announced the founding D.O.A. member was in the hospital, his condition deemed “inoperable and terminal according to his care givers” and that “alternative therapies” were being explored. Communication dried up until October 26, when an e-mail was sent announcing that Chuck had passed two days earlier:

“In response to the inquires, thank you for all the support. Chuck did not survive his battle with throat cancer. He passed surrounded by his family on 10/24/09.”

And the rest of the webernets – including this site – pretty much just fell in line and believed the story as reported by Greene. Oy.

So, y’know. Three cheers for fact-checking and herd mentality.

Chuck, good to have you back amongst the living. We missed you… for at least twenty-four hours.

-AR