RUFKM? IRON MAIDEN’S THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST

RUFKM? (AKA “Are you fucking kidding me?”) takes a look at stellar metal albums and their douchie one-star Amazon reviews.

Next up: Iron Maiden’s The Number of the Beast.

Nate Acephalic opined: “This is for the people who have little left in the brain and have perhaps burned one too many nerve cells. Great music to be retarded to.”

Andy critiqued: “pretty sad when the backstreet boys are a heavier band than you… his voice sounds like bea arthur trying to sing.”

Jeremy cracked: “Dudes and other genders Maiden sux bad…all i have to say…’har har look at me im all gay and stuff i listen to maiden.’”

“teisvi” channeled Skwisgaar Skwigelf: “can’t understand why people call this a masterpiece; it’s BOOOOOORIIING, most of THE SONGS ARE LAUGHABLE and after a few listens,the album DON’T TELLS YOU NOTHING.”

cookie sweetly declared: “Rock fans are constantly putting down Backstreet Boy fans saying try listening to “real music” so I listened. All I can say is WOW, this is pure rubbish. It’s loud,loud, and loud and as far as the quality of the performers voices oh my goodness good gawd, have these ppl heard of voice teachers. I’m beginning to think rock fans brain cells are numb, because that is the only way one could listen to this brianless, mindless crap.”

Hot Topic “Bobby” wrote (this should be good): “This band is not talented at all and is a complet joke. Honestly, how can you people listen to this satanic goth garbage? This guy on the bass Harris or whatever the hell his name is, cannot play at all and is a complete lozer and does not look kewl at all(he looks like an ugly gurl).”

Or better yet, try this from Hot Topic “Bobby”: “For a real metal album that has talented playing check out “Nevermind” by Nirvana or Limp Bizkit’s masterpiece “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water”.”

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

Corey Mitchell is a best-selling author of true crime books and founder of the #1 true crime blog, In Cold Blog. Join him on Facebook and Twitter.