WHO WANTS TO PISS AWAY FIVE BUCKS?

The reader known only as “Derrick” sent us a link to Dying 2 Meet You, a website that offers the “cheap gag gift” of selling customers a meeting with the dead celebrity of their choice (they even only have certain celebrities, so as to better sell the illusion that these are official meetings, I guess). Of course, there’s an entire package devoted to “Metal Legends,” including Chuck Schuldiner, Cliff Burton, and, naturally, Dimebag.

I get that this is a “gag gift” so I’m not too offended by the whole stupid idea – it’s not like you’re actually getting ripped off by, say, being so dumb you think you’re having a star named after a loved one – but taking five bucks and putting it towards a “meeting” with Layne Staley or Bon Scott or Randy Rhodes or whomever strikes me as… well… a complete and utter waste of five bucks. No, it’s not really a lot of money in the scheme of things, but it is money.

So purchasing one of these “gag gifts” is literally like wiping your ass with that Abe Lincoln. Somewhere, there’s a starving homeless person who would kill for a slice of pizza or two, but, no, that money would be better spent on a fake meeting with a dead person.

Swell.

-AR