NO DONKEY, JUST KONG

As an international jetsetting playboy, I am rarely in one place for very long. In a given week, I might dine with Saudi oilmen in Riyadh, ski the Swiss Alps with European fashion models, and canoodle with toothless crackheads in Detroit. That’s just how I roll, people. On a recent trip to London, I hit up the HMV on Oxford Street to buy a few dozen CDs to throw at beggar children in Jakarta. Little did I know that this same shopping excursion would yield the discovery of an incredible new noise rock band called Kong.

Billed by paleozoic British music rag NME as “the toxic shock syndrome version [of] Shellac and Fugazi,” the Manchester band’s debut Snake Magnet demanded an immediate purchase even without hearing a single note. And boy, was it worth it! The album is choc full of disorienting math rock grooves, slicing guitars, and belligerent vocals. Check out the bizarre fucking video above for the single “Leather Penny.” Now if you’ll excuse me, the stewardess has instructed me to turn off all electronic devices as we’re about to depart for Brussels, where I have plans to eat Belgian waffles with an art dealer… naked.

-GS

[Gary Suarez is so paid. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don’t you follow him on Twitter?]