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This is a story about a band I don’t care about getting involved in some drama with a band I haven’t cared about in at least fifteen years. But it’s still kinda amusing, so I’m posting it.

So I guess Motley Crue are still touring with a lot of other shitty bands? I dunno, I made the mistake of going to see the Crue a few summers back and decided we’d all be better off if Vince Neil would just Razzle the rest of the band at this point. I mean, a few “YEAH BOOOOOYYYYYY!!!!”s from Tommy Lee and I was off to the parking lot to beat the traffic. I had a better time watching Limp Bizkit open for Metallica. Because at least in that situation, people were throwing shit at Fred Durst and booing, not fooling themselves that it was still 1987 or whatever.

But I digress.

Motley Crue. So they must have toured with Godsuck while I wasn’t paying attention. That seems about right. But I guess Sully “The Meathead Layne Staley” Erna didn’t have a fun time, ’cause he recently felt the need to talk smack during an interview:

“I will tell you, [touring with Motley Crue has] been the most dramatic tour we’ve ever been on. I mean, talk about just craziness, man. Sometimes egos run high, man, and there’s definitely been some rock-star garbage on this tour that just have never seen in our career… I don’t know who needs to live up to whose reputations and I don’t know why some people consider music as a competition, but I will tell you that I have never been in a situation where I felt like I was out for blood, and honestly, this was the first time that I felt like, ‘You know what?! If there’s gonna be some people that are gonna treat other people a certain way, then I’m gonna go out there every night and fucking crush you on stage — make sure that we make you look old and fat, and go home with a nice big fat paycheck.’… I don’t know. It’s been a good time for us out here, but in other situations, there’s definitely been some uncomfortable moments.”

Now, I have no idea what Sully Erna is like. I mean, I know that I loathe his music, but I don’t know anything about his reputation as a person. Is he as chill as he makes himself out to be in this interview? Does he, himself, have a massive ego, and is just pissy ’cause Nikki Sixx fucked all his groupies or something? I dunno.

But I’m torn about this particular feud. I never liked Godsuck, but I did, once upon a time, love the Crue. Back in the day, they were awesome. Also back in the day: the Republicans freed the slaves. So, y’know. Things change.

My point is: I don’t know with whom to side in this instance. So I guess I’m gonna go all Iann Robinson here and suggest that the two bands have a battle to the death, where the victors get to be killed. That way, everybody wins.

-AR