I THINK ZAKK WYLDE IS HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

July 31st, 2009 at 12:00pm
Axl Rosenberg

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zakkozzie

Metal’s First Couple, in happier times.

Okay. I’m starting to feel bad for Zakk Wylde. And I hate feeling bad for Zakk Wylde, ’cause then I can’t poke fun at him.

But according to Blabbermouth, The Only Southerner Ever to be Born in New Jersey called into another radio station – this one in Kansas City – and went on a rant ever more hostile towards Ozzy than the one from yesterday. Here’s a transcript:

Q: I need a statement from you. What is going on with all the rumors and all the crap with the Boss.
Zakk: “I really have no idea. ‘Cause I call up and go, ‘What’s going on here?’ I was just like, ‘That ain’t cool, dude.’ I go, ‘If you’re gonna can my ass, say it to my face. Don’t be doing this shit behind my back; that ain’t cool.’”
Q: So there was a tense moment there with you and the Boss?

Zakk: “I have no idea. I guess we’re supposed to hook up in August and do this goddamn [BlizzCon].”
Q: The last time they tried this was “Down The Earth”, and that record [wasn’t that great], so I’m guessing if Zakk’s not involved, it’s not a good Ozzy record.
Zakk: “I have no idea. I’m just like… You could play with anybody you want. Put it this way… It’s like my wife… You can be with any guy you wanna be with. But you know what?! If you’re gonna be banging a guy in our bed, at least let me watch so I can enjoy it. Let me in on the skinny… what’s going on here. That’s just not… I don’t give a [bleep] what anyone says, it ain’t [bleep]ing cool. It’s like, hey, you know what?! You’re just [bleep]ing on me in a back [bleep]ing alley right now and [I’ll] rip your [bleep]ing head off if you’re gonna pull this shit. We’ll [bleep]ing find out.”

For a moment I’m going to ignore the interviewer’s assertion that a Zakk-less Ozzy record is a bad Ozzy record, since it is my firm belief that Black Rain sucked just as bad as Down to Earth, and concentrate on the Zakk part.

Would he really enjoy watching his wife fuck another dude? I know there are guys who get off on that, but I’ve never really understood it myself. What a bizarre metaphor to use. Again, the dude sounds like a scorned lover. And it’s twice as funny when you consider what a homophobe Zakk is.
Zakk is right, Ozzy should say it to his face, especially now that it’s out in the open.
I would pay very good money to watch Zakk rip Ozzy’s [bleep]ing head off. And I believe he could do it, too.

Anyways, while we wait for this drama to get resolved, you can listen to audio of Zakk’s latest completely-warranted outburst here.