EXCLUSIVE BAPTIZED IN BEER TOUR BLOG FROM BISON B.C.’S DAN AND
Bison B.C. are currently out on the road as part of the MetalSucks co-sponsored Baptized in Beer tour with Lazarus A.D. and Woe of Tyrants. Bison B.C.’s Dan And was cool enough to offer to do a special tour blog for us. Check it out below, and get complete Baptized in Beer tour dates here! And if you haven’t done so already, check out Woe of Tyrants’ Chris Catanzaro Baptized in Beer tour blog here.
Wednesday, July 8th – Vancouver, The Biltmore
The last time we played here at the Biltmore, it ended up getting shut down by no fault of ours. The fire marshal showed up, and not was the show over-sold, but something wasn’t properly sorted out about some renovations that had been done. I’m really not sure on the details and despite how it might have looked or been reported on, it wasn’t our fault. I jokingly said in a mini interview that we were going to top ourselves this time and burn it to the ground. Apparently some fuckin’ pecker head taken me seriously and emailed the owners to protest that they would even let us play there after I said that. I’m pretty sure the one owner, Zach, wasn’t upset because when we meet him in Calgary a few days from now he gets us some free grub at one of his other bars and then gets us firkin hammered on a disgustingly delicious drink he invented… more on that later.
Show was fucking awesome. Perfect way to kick off a tour, and although Barn Burner wasn’t there with us in body, they were in spirit, and we got to play with our tight bros Bogus Tokus. There seemed to be a lot of people out that must live in the surrounding greater Vancouver area, which is rad, and Lazarus went over well. Didn’t see or hear about any problems with the bouncers either (who have a “bit” of a reputation for being a little… aggressive at times). Saw one of the most posi pits I’ve ever seen during our set. Tons of crowd surfing and nothing but smiles? Peace in the pit. Sad goodbyes.
Thursday, July 9th – Kelowna, Habitat
Kelowna was fun but we had to keep it pretty chill ‘cuz we had a long haul the next day, which will not always stop us from going hog wild, but it’s only the second day so we don’t want to blow our load. Sorry to all our buds who wanted to get down… next time. There was a rad little kid named Grayson there with his dad, who are both big fans.
He’s only five years old and we were his first show! He fell asleep on his dad’s shoulder half way through, but kudos for him still staying out way past his bedtime… happens to the best of us.
Friday, July 10th – Edmonton, Starlite Room
Show was alright. Starlite’s a pretty big room, and you can tell when it isn’t close to full. We had a bunch of bros out of town which didn’t help either. I still fucking love Edmonton and at least I know that tomorrow we get to go to Octopus Ink (aka the best punk/metal record store in Canada… hands down).
After everyone’s done playing, I come out for a smoke and see a girl consoling her loser pissed friend who starts puking all over the front steps. Haha, LP! Then I turn around and Mark from Barn Burner is puking his guts out while leaning against a tree on the sidewalk. Nice, looks like side B of that LP is even better than the first.
We pull over while lost trying to find our way to where we’re staying to pow wow with Bjorn Bjurnin. I think our GPS Vicky and James are having a fight because he’s trying to get directions over the phone from the wasted girl whose house we’re staying at. Apparently there’s a huge party and lots of yelling coming through the phone. Our bud Heidi sorts it all out for us, but not before we bust out a mid-street shotgun in the ‘burbs. Get to the house to find five people being super chill and it turns out it was just that chick yelling at everyone. Sweet? Me and Rick pretend to crash out so she’ll stop talking and go to bed, and after she does we crack beers and mini party in her basement. RC wakes up and joins us for a bit too.
Saturday, July 11th – Calgary, Dickens Pub
The Calgary Stampede is going on, which means that there fucking wasted assholes everywhere.. .except for our show… win. Our bud Shitty brings us some killer BBQ ribs with corn and potato salad and James and I do an interview with Stacey Steel who hosts The Grind on Punkradiocast.com.
The show is amazing tonight. Burn Barner are all over the stage shotgunnin’ beers and crowd surfing while we play, and it’s a huge slippery mess by the end. As far as I know, no one is roofied by a cowjock, so good times. This dude Mark let’s all the bands come party and crash at his house which considering we have a day off tomorrow might not have been the smartest idea. 3/5 of Spreadeagle even shows up and bring some disgusting fortified Calgary beer called Ridin’ High.
The night turns into an all you can eat buffet of good times. Ryan from Lazarus, while totally hammered, somehow manages to pull off an amazing card trick even though me and their TM Rob are watching his hands like hawks. Taylor from Born Burnin and their super rad merch dude, Colin, hop a fence into a bird sanctuary and pass out in a field.
Taylor wakes up with a hilarious sun burn on half his face and a red stripe along the side and small of his back. This will provide days of cruel entertainment for us on his behalf. I force a puke in the backyard while trying to talk to our old bud Will Shatz as the sun slowly rises higher and higher.
Sunday, July 12th – Calgary, off
Normally I’m not a fan of days off, but considering the night before, I’ll happily take a sabbatical on this one. We somehow drag ourselves over to Broken City (owned by the previously mentioned Zach from the Biltmore in Vancouver) for breakfast and ceasers and they hook us up with staff discounts. Rad. Grab some brews and some Vex and head out the river for lounging. Pretty much every douchebag in town for Stampede is toobin down the river, so swimming would be like a game of Frogger. We plant ourselves on the sidelines and enjoy the show. You’d think these date rapists had never seen such a huge collection of dirtbags in one group before. Ain’t nothing weird about a group hairy, haggard, grown up babies hangin’ out in their ginches and party vests, crushing beers while ankle deep in glacier fresh water, is there? I feel like we are the stars of the skids episode of Planet Earth. A couple geniuses actually call us “homos” and we just throw them the goat, super casual, and truth bomb ’em with a “Gay Pride!” retort. What fucking year is it? A couple of weekend bangers ‘get it’ and hoot with beers raised in appreciation of our laissez-faire way of life. I even wade out to hook some dudes up with rolling papers as they cruise by. The clouds roll in and we split for some Tubby Dogs.
No shirt, no shoes, no dice on the Tub Dogs… closed for renovations. Back to Broken City for more discount chow and beers. There is a table of peeps here from the show last night that showed up at breakfast and who slept about as much as we did. Sweet lifers and they even buy us all a round of shots that tastes like both tequila and whiskey. Are my taste buds just shot? By this point that is entirely possible. We have nowhere to stay so decide to squat in an empty house our bros from the band Snake Mountain used to live in, but it’s still light out so we van party on the “lawn” beside an apartment building. Lazarus show up and we head to our new mansion across the street. We snoop all the nooks and crannies trying to lay claim to all the sweet sleeping spots. Will Shatz shows up and convinces Rick, Taylor, Colin and I are the only takers as everyone else apparently wants to stay in to clean the sand out of their vaginas from the river. Back AGAIN to Broken City.
Fireworks signal the end of the Stampede, which should be celebration enough, but we can only hear them and I feel like I’m in Sarajevo. Zach has invented an interesting drink called Zach’s Musk (beer, Strongbow, Jager mixed in a pint glass). It smells like puke, tastes like pizza, and I’m pretty sure I must love it cuz he keeps giving them to us for free and I end up doing about three or four of them between the Jager bombs he also keeps shoving in front of us. It’s karaoke night and Rick, having no fear brother, tackles “Sweet Child O’ Mine” in Captain Kirk boots, a pink and blue denim shirt and USA bandana. We finish the karaoke by all doing “The Boys are Back in Town.” Naturally, this would be the ideal time that any dirtbag rocker would want to head over to a house music DJ night, so that’s exactly what we do. Will is the king of the soundguys in Calgary and he has work to do at this club that night, so we get in for free. The door guys and bartenders actually remember me from when we played here last year with Priestess and Bored Boardin. More free drinks and wonderful hospitality. I see flashes of us dancing like a bunch of assholes and stumbling home once it’s all over. Mark Douchette tells me the next day that I came in swayed around with feet firmly planted bent over backwards chugging water then couldn’t figure how to “use my sleeping bag.” Colin apparently slurred back “Normally I
try to unjip it.” Day five comes to a close, already becoming remarkably smarter.
-Dan And/BISON B.C.
