MOTORGRATER IS CERTAINLY GRATING

I remember getting to Ozzfest 2003 early enough to catch some key bands on the second stage – specifically, Voivod, Killswitch Engage, Chimaira and Shadows Fall – and I have some vague memories of some other band that played during the day whilst adorned in sub-Wes Borland grease paint that gave them the appearance of a group of Mushroomhead rejects. For years I’ve dismissed it as a false memory, born of my Jewish psychosis and too much drugs and alcohol, but, no, as it turns out, this wasn’t just some fever dream: the horrible, horrible band was called Motorgrater, and they are very, very real.

And reader Chadd Smith, who apparently hates me at least as much as Ben Keegan, tells me that Motograter have reunited. And some reasearch shows that he is correct.

Seriously, guys. I was in a good morning when we started this morning. Remember that awesome new Slayer song? And now all you cats do is bring me down. What the fuck?

ANWAY, this band is really, really, really, really, really, really, really sucky. And I’d just like to take this opportunity to tell everyone who goes to see one of their reunion shows to suck my left nut. But not the right nut: don’t you dare touch the right nut. It’s too good for you, you fucking Motorgrater fan.

-AR