AND THEY CAN’T SPELL THE WORD “DAMN” CORRECTLY, EITHER

Reasons Bonerott (MySpace, official website) is the funniest fucking thing I’ve heard in a long, long time*:

1. The drums.
2. The guitar.
3. The bass.
4. The singing.
5. The screaming.
6. The talking.
7. The rapping.
8. The lyrics (Sample: “You tell me that you care/You change the clothes I’m wearing/And cut my goddamn hair.”)
9. The fact that those lyrics were not written by a twelve year old.
10. The fact that one member is credited for playing “lead guitars” when he is, in fact, the only guitar player in the band.
11. The fact that their top MySpace friends include Hugh Hefner, a bunch of porn stars, Killswitch Engage and Avril Lavigne.
12. The 87 year old woman posing in their merch photo.
    
13. That their MySpace bio describes them as “loud and very aggressive with out [sic] an attitude!”
14. The slogan on their website: “Nu-age metal for the nu-millenium.”
15. The fact that these guys are older than the dudes in Anvil.
16. Everything about this band photo.
    
17. The fact that they describe themselves as a cross between Disturbed and Lamb of God.
18. The fact that they describe themselves as hardcore.
19. The fact that they simultaneously describe themselves as “dance metal.”
20. The fact that they simultaneously describe themselves as industrial.
21. Everything about this interview.
22. The fact that said interview calls them “Bone Rot.”
23. The fact that they put said interview up on their website anyway.
24. Head mic.
    
25. That they have a fan page.
26. That there are people on that fan page.
27. That, inevitably, some of those people will now come to this post and call me names.
28. This:
    
29. That I have now generated more traffic and attention for this band than they have ever had before.
30. That I have now spent more time writing about this shitty band than I have the excellent new Goatwhore album that you all need to get.

-AR

*Yes, even funnier than the deathcore band with the triangle we listened to on the Metal Injection Livecast.

Thanks to Steve Mars for this incredible tip.