NEXT IDIOT TO MENTION SWINE FLU GETS A KICK IN THE NUTS

This morning a friend of mine was riding the subway. Being afflicted with terrible allergies (as I am myself), he sneezed (into his hand – not the open air) and rubbed his sore eyes – at which point some fuckwit apparently started screaming at him about spreading swine flu and told him he should be wearing a mask. At which point, God bless him, my friend did the only logical thing: he started coughing in the fucker’s face.

PEOPLE: YOU DO NOT HAVE FUCKING SWINE FLU. THIS IS NOT A PANDEMIC. CALM THE FUCK DOWN. At best, this is the media’s way of distracting us from all the other fucked up shit going on right now. And if by some fucking chance it is mankind’s time to return to the dark ages – WHICH IT FUCKING IS NOT – well, you can’t say we didn’t have it coming.

Speaking of swine and people acting like fucking maniacs: here’s Pig Destroyer’s video for “Piss Angel,” off of 2001’s Prowler in the Yard. Thanks to my comrade Gary Suarez for the suggestion.

-AR