PLEASE HUG IT OUT, INDUSTRIAL METAL GODS

Let’s face it: Ministry without Paul Barker just isn’t the same. Nothing on Houses Of The Mole, Rio Grande Blood, or The Last Sucker offered the thrills and low-end chills of albums like Psalm 69 and Filth Pig. As a longtime industrial music fanatic, I am sick and fucking tired of being let down every time Al Jourgensen puts out new music. His latest outing, the positively plebeian cash-in Sex-O Olympic-O, should never have been released under the Revolting Cocks name. Enough is enough! The time has come for Hypo Luxa and Hermes Pan to hug-it-the-fuck-out!

While Al defiantly clung to the Ministry name until last year, Paul recorded some mighty fine shit since his departure. His U.S.S.R. collaboration with Jesus Lizard / Tomahawk guitarist Duane Denison came out of nowhere and effortlessly blended the respective talents of the two veteran musicians. Paul’s latest project Flowering Blight revives the coveted grimy bass sonics of Filth Pig and overlays them with comparatively cleaner vocals. Released late last year, The Perfect Pair featured contributions from Josh Freese and some former Ministry sidemen. Without getting too hyperbolic, the record kicks the living shit out of Al’s recent stinkers.

Al needs Paul like a burger needs bacon. I mean, a burger can be OK on its own, but a few strips of crispy pigflesh transforms it into the type of sandwich you drool over after a night of serious drinking. Yeah, there was that little “tortious interference” lawsuit, but nobody even knows what that shit means and it got dismissed in the end anyway. Surely the duo that defined industrial metal can find it in their (now heroin-free) hearts to rekindle their bromance and fucking resurrect Ministry.

Tune in next week as I try to smack some fucking sense into KMFDM.

-GS

[Gary Suarez sincerely hopes that Bernie Madoff becomes the ultimate “bottom bitch” of the American penal system. He also writes for Brainwashed and mismanages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No.]