WILL ALL THE STRATOVARIUS FANS IN THE ROOM PLEASE STAND UP?

Lots of people must care about this band, right? Because at least once a week there’s a post on Blabbermouth about Stratovarius and/or ex-guitarist Timo Tolkki. Every time I see one of these headlines I chuckle on the inside, because Stratovarius have a very, very severe case of Nickelback Syndrome — presumably they have fans, lots of ’em, yet I’ve never met a single one. I don’t give a shit about this band, nor do Axl or any of the other MS Mansion inhabitants (that I know of… monkeys excepted). I’ve never met a single person who likes this band, never seen a Stratovarius record, never encountered someone wearing a Stratovarius t-shirt at a show. To be fair, I had one Stratovarius track on my iPod once and it was pretty good, but my interest pretty much ended there.

So presumably there’s oodles of uber-fans following the L.A. Guns-like drama unfolding between estranged guitarist/main-dude Timo Tolkki and the remaining members of the band:

Timo Tolkki (REVOLUTION RENAISANCE, STRATOVARIUS) has announced that he will record another album with former STRATOVARIUS members Tuomo Lassila (drums) and Anti Ikonen (keyboards). Tentatively titled “Return To Dremspace”, the CD is slated for a September 2009 release. The fans will decide the name of the project in some sort of contest. Tolkki says, “If the fans decide that it should be called STRATOVARIUS, then it will. Then I will face the consequences, but that will be one interesting trial, I tell you that.”

So let me get this straight — the band’s founder, who is no longer with the “official” band, is teaming up with other ex-members of the band to record a new album named after the band’s “classic” album?? And he’s letting the fans decide what to name the new project?? This has all the trappings of a made-for-MetalSucks drama.

-VN