ANOTHER BAND WITH AN UNFORTUNATE NAME

Pave the Way, what the press notes tell me is the fourth album from Los Angeles’ Flatline, has the most misleading, bullshit album title of anything that isn’t Lake Bukkake’s This Album Comes with a Blowjob Sandwich from Tawny Kitaen and Lita Ford.

Because Flatline ain’t pavin’ the way for shit. They are, however, doing a fairly good job of sounding an awful lot like Pantera.

That’s a crime of which many modern bands are guilty (I won’t name names, but it rhymes with “Motown”), but few do it as boringly as these dudes. This is one of those albums that would seem to prove the theory that it’s better to suck giant stinky gorilla balls than to be bland.

I’m saying I’ve had cotton candy that’s lasted longer in my mouth than the memory of this band will in my head.

(1 out of 5 horns)

-AR