SLAYER OLYMPICS WINNERS ANNOUNCED!

Congratulations to MetalSucks Maniacs Patrick Quinn, Adam Riley and Adrian Ware. These three dudes have won the Slayer Olympics, and for their troubles, they each get a personally dedicated autographed copy of D.X. Ferris’ awesome book 33 1/3: Reign in Blood.

As you may recall, the Slayer Olympics had three events: write a funny alternate Slayer lyric, find a grammatical error ina  Slayer lyric, or take a gnarly pic of yourself with a member of Slayer or Slayer merch.

Adrian won event # 3 with the above photo of himself with his Kerry King Flying V. He also asked that we post a link to his MySpace page.

Patrick won event #2 by pointing out this grammatical error in a Slayer lyric:

Born of Fire off Seasons in the Abyss:

Splattered red you’ll find my den
Blood dripping from the walls

The first two words “splattered red” are a dangling modifier. They’re intended to modify “my den” rather than “you.” You can tell he’s talking about the den because of the next line, which explains why the den is splattered red (not that a dude splattered with blood would be inappropriate for this song).

Finally, Adam won event #1 by re-writing the lyrics to “Expendable Youth” in order to make it a song called “Grilling Something New”:

Run mold on the raw meat
Surf n’ Turf my main meal
If it’s in my way I’ll throw it on the fire
Many cutlets will fill

[Chorus]:
Grilling something new
Grilled to perfection
Having to season creates perfection
Beef n’ Poultry
Meat, it’s so good and hearty

Injured cows lie on the ground
Hole in the head, tongue out
Gathering buckets of blood
The special ingredient for stew

[Chorus]:

Forced into a line
Biogenetically engineered
Free range? There’s none of those here
Grilling something new with tons of season
Animals make the best main course

[Chorus]:

By the way, in case my review of the book and interview with Ferris didn’t convince you that the purchase is worth your hard earned money, you can get a free sample chapter about the track “Angel of Death” just by e-mailing reigninblood333 [at] yahoo.com (the chapter will be e-mailed back to you in PDF format).

The chapter features recollections from Slayer’s Jeff Hanneman and Kerry King, in addition to comments from Rick Rubin, Unearth frontman Trevor Phipps, Helmet mainman Page Hamilton, Dark Angel/Strapping Young Lad drummer Gene Hoglan, Mastodon drummer Brann Dailor, Henry Rollins, and others.

The November issue of Metal Maniacs says, “To say that ‘Reign in Blood’ is mandatory reading for fans of the band and the album is ridiculously understated. Perhaps more importantly, the book is essential for anyone with an interest in heavy metal.”

Fans are also welcome to send any questions about the book to the e-mail address. Ferris will respond personally when he gets a minute.

NOW GO GET THE BOOK!!!

-AR