PEOPLE STILL CARE ABOUT (HED)P.E.?

Slow news day. Hangovers. Let’s fire up the ol’ nu-metal hate machine, shall we? Consider it our own less-witty version of the Decibot.

When it comes to D-rate nu-metal whipping boys, there’s really no better target than perennial suckmeisters (hed)p.e. Apparently encouraged by the rabid success of their “Heavy Hitters Tour” (no, unfortunately you don’t get to hit them), the band is putting out a new album on January 13th, a press release tells us. If one new (hed)p.e. album doesn’t satiate your fix for steaming piles of turd, January 13th is your lucky day: the band is releasing THREE versions of the same album, each with different covers and bonus tracks! Yowza!

I know you’re still aching for more…

Thankfully, the band has set up a new “online community” at NewWorldOrphans.com. The site takes its name not only from the title of the forthcoming album, but from the fact that the band has taken to calling their fans “orphans.” Yes, really. Says frontman Jared Gomes:

“Now why are we calling our fans orphans? Because we are all orphans in today’s world. We have been forgotten and left behind by the powers that be. So we are now uniting and taking back what is rightfully ours. We want to meet the most loyal of our family of orphans and link up on the road before shows, so we are able to sit down and have real conversations of what is going on our world and our communities. As you know HED PE is on a mission to spread truth, and break down the walls that surround our lives. Unite and stay tuned as we take back our country one orphan at a time.”

The mind boggles.

-VN