A MESSAGE FROM THE FUTURE EX-MRS. AXL ROSENBERG

So. You may or may not recall that, a few weeks back, for the first time ever, five females won the Completely Unreadable Band Logo contest. Dubbing them “The Slipknot Five,” I wrote that “since I’ve never had a girlfriend who was actually into metal, I’m hoping at least one them e-mails me with a marriage proposal. Fingers crossed.”

Well, lo and behold, one of those ladies, Ms. Stacey Watrobski, did, in fact, e-mail me with a marriage proposal, and even included a link to her MySpace page so I could see that she didn’t, in her words, “look like one of those broads from Kittie.” Stacey then scolded me for never promoting shows outside the NYC area; I, in turn, promised to promote any show outside NYC that she asked me to, seeing as we’re now engaged n’ all.

Well, now Stacey has a show she wants to promote, so I’m here to help. But rather than try and write something about said show, I’m just going to let her tell you about it:

“This upcoming Sunday here in Philadelphia, A Life Once Lost along with Made Of Babies and Tombs are playing at a little place called Johnny Brenda’s. Its only $5!! Woo! And cheap drinks. I think its going to be a great show and for 5 bucks, you can’t beat it. Starts at 9pm, must be 21 to get in. I have attached the promo flyer to this email. It won’t explode your computer. I promise. YOu can trust me, I have large, supple breasts.”

This is actually Decibel Magazine’s 50th issue party, and even though Vince and I can’t make the trek to Philly this weekend to check out, we strongly urge you to follow the advice of Stacey and her large, supple breasts and hit up the show. All three bands on the bill are super sweet, and like Stacey says, it’s only five bones, which means the crappy current state of the economy is now choice. Plus, it’s Decibel Magazine; they rule. Show some respect.

So, there ya go, Stacey. Now I’m gonna go call Dallas Coyle and see if God Forbid will play our wedding.

-AR