SEBASTIAN BACH TRIES TO LURE THE ONLY FANS DRUNKER THAN METALHEADS

The only capacity in which I ever want to experience Sebastian Bach again is singing Skid Row songs. Not new ones, either, ’cause if the one Johnny Solinger-era Skids album I’ve heard is any indication, the guys who actually write the music in that band have forgotten whatever it was they knew back in their Slave to the Grind days. No, I wanna hear this 40 something year old fucker sing “Youth Gone Wild” like he was still actually youthful and/or wild.

And I know I’m not alone, ’cause even with multiple guest appearances from Axl Rose, Baz’s last solo album, Angel Down, was purchased by a whopping twelve people, eleven of whom are related to or work for Sebastian.

Baz must be aware that his popularity with the metal community is waning (even more than usual) recently, because following his appearance on the reality show Gone Country (which I did not watch), he has announced he’s recording a full length country album.

I don’t have a problem with what I’d call “real” country – Patsy Cline, Hank Williams (NOT Jr.), etc. – but this modern day country-rock Toby whateverthefuckhisnameis shit drives me up the wall. And I’m assuming the latter is exactly the kind of crap Baz will produce; I mean, the man doesn’t have a subtle bone in his body.

And I reckon he’s hoping all the booze and inbreeding of modern country’s audience will cause them to mistake his noise for something more palatable. Personally, I think he’d be better off going all rastafarian; I mean, weed helps bad music sound good way more than alcohol does (not that alcohol hurts, but, c’mon).

While Baz is in a recording studio somewhere trying to make something even shittier than Angel Down, you can check him out singing “One More Battle with the Bottle” above. I suspect Baz chose this particular number because he’s fallen off the wagon so many times.

-AR