EDDIE VAN PALIN

You’d almost expect Eddie Van Halen to be a staunch Republican. Look at the facts: he lives in California, is rich, is a dick, and he and his woman both do work in the magical world of porn, which means giving a big thumbs up to the McCain/Palin ticket would be just hypocritical enough to “make sense” the way Ted Nugent being a conservative or Chris Robinson marrying a conservative’s daughter “makes sense.”

Apparently though, this isn’t the case: John McCain has been using the ’91 VH “classic” (a.k.a. my least favorite Van Halen song that wasn’t originally sung by Gary Cherone) “Right Now” as part of his campaign – and Eddie objects enough to actually call former co-worker/current nemesis Sammy Hagar, reports Rolling Stone.

Hagar, you see, loves the fact that McCain is using the song, telling RS “I was honored that a potential president of the United States used those words in a positive sense, like, ‘We gotta act now!’ ” before admitting he’d be just as happy for Obama to use the song.

Eddie and Alex Van Halen aren’t nearly so thrilled to see McCain using the song, and publicly denounced its inclusion in the Republican campaign. Hagar responded thusly:

“Why didn’t [Van Halen] say no when Pepsi Cola gave us a million dollars to use the song in a Pepsi Light commercial? That’s when you say no. That isn’t the message of this song… [But when a presidential candidates uses it] I’m going, ‘Hell, yes!’”

I agree with Hagar that using the song in a Pepsi commercial was a bad idea – especially since it was Crystal Clear Pepsi, a product almost as awful as the song in question (you can watch the commercial above).

But the difference is that Crystal Clear Pepsi didn’t want to overturn Roe V. Wade, didn’t accept an endorsement from the worst president in American history, and was generally not capable of causing any actual problems for anyone who didn’t go out of their way to purchase it. Hagar’s attitude that anyone can use the song so long as they’re running for office demonstrates the same kind of vacuity that led to the formation of Chickenfuck.

For the first time in years, then, the Van Halen brothers actually come out of this situation looking like the good guys. Now if they’d just let Michael Anthony back into the band…

-AR