INTRODUCING METALSUCKS’ NEW ADVICE COLUMN: ASK ANTON OYVEY

“If Roadrunner and Revolver can have their own advice columns, why not MetalSucks?”

This is the question Axl posed to Vince one recent, typically bong smoke-filled evening at the MetalSucks Mansion, and thus the search for a new MS columnist began.

Luckily for all you, Axl and Vince managed to find the perfect person, a sage rebbi known to the world as Anton OyVey (see photo, right). Starting in the next week or so, the right honorable OyVey will be answering any questions that might be bouncing around in that noggin of yours: Should I break up with my girlfriend? What do I do if I hate my parents? Are Axl and Vince real people? Metallica or Slayer? Chicken or fish? If you have a query, the all-too-wise Anton OyVey will point you in the right direction.

So send your questions to the latest member of the MetalSucks Militia at antonoyvey [at] metalsucks.net, and check back here for the answers (or you can, y’know, just leave a question in the comments section below). Anton OyVey’s advice is guaranteed to fix your entire life!*

-The Ever-Growing Team at MetalSucks

*Advice may not actually fix your entire life.